Young man, there's no need to feel down. Sure, cold and flu season is upon us, but don't let that worry you. Kleenex is here with a solution, Get Mommed. Yep, it's an insulting website of stereotypes that invites you to source a little added TLC. And yes, they managed to throw in one or two comely ladies for those of you who like your mothering Oedipal.
That in and of itself would be enough to bother me, but it's Kleenex's new ad 'Homecoming' that merits a special level of scorn. Here it is in case you haven't seen it. We'll chat more about it after the break:
Let's recap what we can infer from this lame attempt at humor:
- Young men are inconsiderate douchebags.
- Moms are to be used and abused as you see fit.
- Cold and flu season is a great time to wander around spreading the joy of aching joints and stuffed up noses to moms everywhere like the worst Santa Claus ever.
I know we're supposed to be amused by this young man taking umbrage at the most mundane slights, leaving the moms behind wondering what they did wrong. But moms have an infallible sense of right and wrong, and they may play the martyr, but woe to the ungrateful child who walks all over them. I kept expecting to see one of the moms give the scruffy rapscallion a tongue-lashing, or go Granny from Tweety and Sylvester on his ass with a rolling pin. That would have been preferable. Nope, the ad ends and all of the moms are there behind him. Because that's what moms do in popular culture. They stand by you, no matter how much of a jackass you are. Even when you create ads that suggest moms are nothing more than doormats.
Well, I've done my part. Venture forth, young man. Have fun with your new BFF Jessica. Or enjoy an awkward family reunion with Anna-Maria. And spread your germs like Johnny Appleseed all over the land. You'll be doing your part to keep companies like Kleenex afloat. That's as American as apple pie. And mom.