Verse: today is a poem

today
is a poem
that will not
wait

it is
inscribing
itself in clouds
like a skywriter

it is
pooling
like rainwater
in the school yard

it is
rejoicing
in church bells
and wind chimes

it is
regaling me
with stories
of traffic and weather

and i
am scrambling
to get it all down
before it gets away.

Old Verse: Valentine 2009 poem for m'lady.

Your eyes
are infinite and invincible
like a summer softly sweet
no, let's say
maybe a green million miles
of meadows
or aisles of
crowned oaks, no
pearly strands of
effervescence in
a champagne glass or
tinsled stars against
the onyx canvas of
an autumn evening
or emeralds that do sparkle
like a sun-kissed sea
that's it, the sun
Certainly, they are not
unlike that distant star
for they stimulate
and illuminate me
a tiny satellite
in your vast universe
ever grateful for
the warmth of your gaze

Verse: tonight

tonight
i count the strands
of moonlight
dangling
from midnight's ceiling

tonight
i dispel
each sleepless moment
with a single
breath

tonight
i can hear
the sound of
my one true voice
my heart
singing me to sleep.

Verse: Variations on a theme

(I could not bring these together as one, so
i
today i am
an empty bowl

i am not in love
but it is in me

if you put it there
if you feed me
with your warm wet lips.

ii

today i am
an empty bowl

put me outside
to gather weather

and the day's mood
will determine mine

or strike me
and i will resonate

serenading you with
my morning song.

Verse: Peregrine

(@Juicymorsel gave me a crumb, and I used it as seasoning to prepare a meal based on an idea that popped into my head this morning. Thanks, Morsel...)

point your self
skyward
and rise

breathe until
the air reveals
its original name

and hear
the cry of every
longing heart

their aspirations
collect in the fingers
of your immaculate wings.

verse: reason

(forgive the rhyme)

in the moments
when i forget

that i have
reason to be

your smile
slips through

my dolor
to remind me

Verse: explanation

(I don't like to write about writing, and yet I did...)

i was silent
for many years
until i knew
what i wanted
to say

emptied myself
of everything
that was not essential
so i could
focus on that

after much deliberation
i settled on this
which will be soft
and not hard
to penetrate

knowing full well
that sometimes
my words carry more weight
when I say nothing
at all.

Verse: reflections

when you
are done
with my reflection

please
return it
to me

so i
can put it
back in this mirror

and keep
my eye
on it

not because
i don't know
what i look like

but because
i want to remember
who i am

so often
i lose myself
in you.

Verse: recollection

what was it
the moon was pointing at

as we slow danced
in the parking lot

and Syl Johnson's keening falsetto
sweetened the air

i thought it might have been
some future as yet unknown

but most likely it was
something we let go of

when we gave ourselves
over to the night.

Verse: Saturday morning

in the mercenary morning
when i have sent
my dreams to bed

and taken my place
at the kitchen table
with the morning paper

i note the bend
of your bare leg
as you slice an orange

the way your black robe
nestles into your contours
like i do, at night

how your hair
hangs softly on
your shoulders sleeping

and I'm thinking
there is nothing you could feed me
as nourishing as a kiss.

Verse: downpour

(apologies for going back to the well so often, but the muses requested this...)

sensing
the day
is vulnerable

the wolves
are gathering
now

faint tracks
in pale blue
ripples

skulking
and sneaking
they seize the sky

tear it
with their
fierce teeth

and more
again
until

the sky
is obscured
by thick grey fur

and as
they howl
with hunger

saliva
hanging from their
clacking jaws

finds
its reflection
below

and dives, in torrents
for the only love
it has ever known

it's going to be
a beautiful night.

Verse: Intrusion II

i saw you
at the market

veiled in silk
except for

your sunglasses
and your hands

reaching for
your purse

the only clues
to who you are

framed
in your fingerprints

and i wondered
if you chose your veil

or if it
was imposed upon you

and i wondered
why that should concern me
at all.

Verse: Intrusion I

sensing the wind
the leaves
begin to shiver

their excited whispers
growing louder
until

they see me
approaching
and fall silent

waiting only
until i pass to
continue their conversation.

Verse: Seasons

(I admit this is more of the same. I admit there are only two seasons. I admit this was influenced by Pete Jolly. I admit nothing.)

i was not here
in summer
when you painted me
with your phenomenal hands

i was shivering
on stand by
under the crystal lake
of a winter night

i had not yet
begun to imagine
the warm sun
hidden behind your eyes

i had not yet
begun to dream
until you sowed my eyes
with sleep.

Two verse fragments for June 18, 2010

i
in a time
of certain
uncertainties

i became
a shadow
and followed you

until you
turned out
the light

ii
you
can have
the wind

all i want
is for you
to give me the rain

and i
will feed it
my insatiable thirst

Swimming: a Haiku for @earlfando

the lake is my sky
and when in her cool embrace
i become a cloud

Haiku for M'lady

such hungry candy
so deep, those emerald eyes
i am overthrown

Verse: returned

(a kind of apology to @amuirin)

i searched
for a sky
not buried
under stones

i searched for
the night in my veins
and epiphanies
at noon

i searched for
a chance to say
something, anything
new

and when i found
i was empty
i borrowed this
from you

here it is
with my apologies
i should never have
taken it out of context

i should never
have taken it
without asking you
first.

Verse: Exorcists

(inspired by a tweet by @amuirin)

tonight, do not tell me
what you are

tell me
what you are not

introduce me to
the things you won't admit

the refugees
of other lives

you harbour
in your heart

a time
before this one

press the words
and make them cry

until they peter out
or break

and i will
will harvest mine

until there is
no adversary among us

no night buried
in the soil of our souls

and when morning arrives
with fire in her eyes

and says
it is time to rise

what we do
in that moment

will determine everything

Verse: Clouds

what is it
the French call it
barbe a papa

it is
such an evocative
image

reminds me
of the midway
roly poly vendors

and those wisps
of spun sugar
that melt in your mouth

winding around
the cardboard tube
like strands of hair

it's such
an easy comparison
don't you think

let's say
they're like boats
unmoored

waiting only
for the wind
to catch their sails

and send them
drifting across
the borderless blue

until
they have vanished
from sight

i doubt that
they'll take much notice
of us as they pass by

safe here on shore
even the rain
doesn't know where we are

Verse: some poems for June 14, 2010

i
the light this evening
is much too bold

it keeps hinting
at things as yet untold

but i ignore the shadows
it is throwing at the ceiling

contemplating the colors of tomorrow
it is reluctantly revealing

ii
spent all day
trying to coax
the night out of hiding
and now it comes

when we merge
it will remember nothing
of its birth
at all

it eagerly feeds
on us
astonished by
its insatiable hunger

and scars our mouths
with its bright teeth

iii
tell me what
can be turned away
that seeks you

even hesitation
resists the temptation
to tell you to wait

my heart wants only
to be your instrument
if you will play me

because
without you
i make no sound

Verse: song of nothing

how do you measure
distances

in sighs or in
the slant of a shadow

me
i use silences

i've been listening
intently and yet

you haven't said
anything at all

it's never the things
we say that puncture us

it's the things
we don't say that wound

deep unseen scars
that bleed through

become ice
and melt us

Verse: nothing

Today
i will not
be born

in circumstances
or audiences
to perform any task

i will not
take on
a shadow

nor give
myself
a name

i will not speak
or seek
any counsel

i will not
dream of dreams
they are burdensome

and i will not
create anything
to remind you i am here

i will be
more quiet
than quiet

with only
the sound
of my breath

which is
essential to
give me away

and the beat
of the heart
you can't hear breaking
is mine.

Verse: three lil poems for June 11, 2010

i
every second
is a surrender

negotiated
in confessions

sit until
there is no sound

and then we
will begin to ripen

ii
to whom
will i return
this voice
when i am silent
once more

iii
the future lies
in hungry maps
that consume
our energy
and idle chat

if we learn
to wake
in hidden moments
when the night
has tethered itself
to the chair

like us
it is afraid
to give up
what isn't necessary

it is afraid
to let us wander
into the morning
in case we
don't return

Verse: regrets

she left
with later
not love

and i
did not
run after

to say
lover, wait
your kisses

take them
with you
and please

come home
soon.

Verse: fevers

(inspired by @amuirin, though she didn't know it...)

i slept
in your hair
all day

time
did not make
a sound

as its folded hands
swept from
the outside

not even
the wind
to lecture

the trees
on how
to sway

i wake and
drink from
the empty chalice

that is night
nodding to the ghosts
gathered for the feast

the clocks
stutter as
i gaze upon you

each moment
dies in a bead
of sweat upon your brow

and my heart
disintegrates
in a series of sighs

the air
is too swollen
to hold in.

Verse: Freckles

(for m'lady. And for @lucyspet, in the hopes that, one day, some one will tell her something similar. If it is familiar, it's because I've talked of this in other poems, but never so direct or isolated.)

one day
i swear
i will count
them all

but for now
i am
quite content
to taste them

i told you
i never could resist
brown sugar
and cinnamon

Verse: tocsins

faint
the sound
much like collywobbles

or
when you
overeat, but growing

steadily
louder, closer
and urgent until

bang
the swollen
sky erupts suddenly

and
the rain
begins to fall

darkness
is disrupted
by white flashes

visible
even with
my eyes closed

dreams
swirl away
like dishwater draining

and
the rain
is something like

ants
marching, filling
every empty space

every
crack in
last night's sleep

widening
them until
it is damaged

beyond
repair or
attempts to reclaim

curious
the clock
says not yet

as
you fall
into my arms

alarmed
seeking shelter
from the storm.

Verse: the horses

(for HSF, whoever you were, wherever you are...)

in among the frayed
and yellowed record sleeves
i found your rebellion

your refutation
of your belief
in god

that you
despite your concerted effort
could not consummate

despite your
deep-seated desire to cause
great hurt to your parents

it is
you said
not human nature

to be hypocritical
sneaky or hateful
but i think you were wrong

i've always found
that was so easy
to do

it's harder
to be honest
gracious and giving

particularly when
you think there is
no one watching

i was reminded
of my own rebellion
so many years ago

that day
in november
buried in snow

i had
a moment
of great terror

a sense
of great darkness
in my soul

the sense
that my mind, my will
was not my own

and i fell
into a winterlong
abyss

so great
my discomfort
with gods and devils

unseen forces
engaged in brinkmanship
for my fate

that i decided
i would let it
all go

my will
my life
would be mine to plot

and my spirituality
would be grounded
in things i could see and touch

all of that
came flooding back
reading your goodbye

the way you blamed your parents
for what you were
i did too

it had all the finality
of a suicide note
but maybe i'm wrong

maybe when you left
you only left home
and your name behind

you got married
had kids
grew plump and bald

watched stray hair
fall into your sink
from your razor

inspected the dark
violet bruises of
sleeplessness

below your heavy
lidded eyes and wondered
how you got there

or you became a legend
if to no one else
maybe in your mind

there are many outcomes
i can attempt
for you

but they are all
imagined and
imposed

like the bridle
on a horse
i reined you in here

like some god
i gave you
a fate

when all you wanted
was what i wanted
when i was in your chaos

to be out there
and running
for nothing and no one

to be unburdened
by the world
and beyond

to be free.

Verse: pickles

(for @picklelou)

bejeweled with sweat
when retrieved
from the back
of the fridge
i hold the jar
in my hand and
with some exertion
remove the lid

this is a moment
suspended in time
a moment punctuated
by a pop, and then
the familiar aroma
of vinegar and garlic
fills the kitchen
makes my tongue tingle
with anticipation

a moment
broken only
when the tip
of my incisor
pierces that tense
and dimpled skin
releasing
the tangy nectar
and soft flesh
within.

Verse: Judgments

(for @careywinkle)

we stand
in a circle

around our crime
our creation

each of us
complicit

in our
own way

cast stone
stares, waiting

for one to shoulder
the guilt

so we can all
be innocent again.

Verse: the ballad of @lucyspet

(for Kris, with a K, who understands the appeal of Blakroc, Baltimora and other things that begin with the letter B)

here comes
the night again

sliding out
of his duster

and cozying up
like we're old friends

plying me
with vodka

and telling me
i'm holy

that one day
i'll scorch the sky

and the world will know
my righteousness

thinking he
can slip one in

when i'm
not looking

but i'm
not having it

about to drag him
outside

make him
walk it off

i think he
forgets himself

i'm not
so easily persuaded

and there is
nothing i can't lick

can i get
an amen?

Verse: song for someone

(NB: one year ago today, I started this blog. It was meant to be a marketing blog. The poems decided otherwise. They had been content to be posted on Facebook when I started writing them again after a very, very, very long and self-imposed silence. But they wanted their own room. And this became their space. This is not how I intended to write today's poem. Not quite anyway. Life got in the way. So it is an approximation. I could tell a tale like Coleridge did to explain Xanadu, but I think he lied, and I am not to be trusted in matters of the muse.)

this song
does not know you

at least not
your name

so allow me to make
this introduction

if it seems
insecure

it is only because
it is nothing without you

it has no voice
of its own

i did not
intend it for you

it could be
for anyone

so share it
and you may find

the object
of its desire

someone willing
to claim it

and now
that this one is done

there will be
an intermission

a brief silence
before the next one

though it has
already begun

and i am writing
your name in it
now.

Verse: The Walking

(one of my fave poets and tweeps, @mergyeugnau challenged me to write a poem of verbs and nouns only. I think I cheated a bit, but here it is...)

i cross chebucto
nodding to the guard

the sign
says harvard

but i
can't hear it

the sound
from the playground

and the traffic
has drowned it out

i pass
duncan, lawrence

streets named for men
I don't know

and turn on allan
as the cars slow

the eyes
of these houses

do not blink
or acknowledge me

nor do people
who pass

am i
not here

my feet do not
bruise the sidewalk

there is
no snow

to leave
a trail

for you
to follow

just my breath
and

the beat
of my heart

racing as
i approach monastery

knowing i
will see you

in minutes
in seconds

waiting
for me

i apologize
for my haste

in telling
you this

there is
no time to colour

or embellish
this moment

this experience
but I promise

i will fill in
the details later.