Microsoft Laptop Hunter courts ire of Apple Corp.

Here's one way to know you've made an impact with your commercials: a call from your competitor's lawyers telling you to stop airing your commercials.

It's not exactly new news, but according to Ars Technica, that's what happened recently to Microsoft. Kevin Turner, Microsoft's COO, recounted at the Worldwide Partner Conference, how Apple lawyers called him telling him to nix the Laptop Hunter series of commercials the company has been running because Apple dropped its prices.

In the ads, which are unscripted, Microsoft pays for PC laptops if the consumer can can find one for under $1,000. Here's one of the ads:



It's a pretty shrewd strategy on Microsoft's part, and perfectly timed. Much like the PC vs. Mac ads, Apple has always been branded and perceived as being the hip, smart choice for computers. What Microsoft has deftly done is to shift the discourse on computers in marketing from coolness to affordability, a major concern among consumers given recent economic conditions.

That's not to say that the people who are finding the PCs, and the PCs themselves, don't have a certain coolness about them. If anything, most of the ads I've seen feature very comely and relatively young people and sleek, rather stylish PCs to appeal to a youth demographic. But the main message is, 'You can find a PC for less that gives you everything you want.' How is that not appealing?

Of course, Apple has continued its successful series of 'Get a Mac' ads, and its new MacBook Pro, $100 less than the previous MacBook, is doing so well that the company says the Laptop Hunters campaign is not having any effect on sales.

Even so, if Turner is right, then Microsoft has made some inroads and managed to shift the focus back to value. It's probably not a position the company can afford to uphold forever - do you really want to compete on price when there is always the opportunity for someone to undercut you. But it could be a launchpad for something broader or more ambitious that changes the way people look at PCs. That'd shake Apple to its core, and Justin Long wouldn't be looking so self-satisfied then.

Palm Pre girl is a rock, she is an island

Though visually very impressive (Tarsem!) I just feel enervated by the The Palm Pre Girl commercials. I mean, here's this girl talking in disconnected vaguely poetic speech patters more halting than William Shatner about her life never once noticing that she is surrounded by people twirling and rearranging themselves for her. Talk about solipsistic. It's like the Palm Pre ads are saying, 'Forget about the world beyond you. Enjoy this shiny object that makes you think you control it.'

So I'm pleased to say that someone has decided to chronicle the life of the Palm Pre Girl on Twitter with brilliant non-sequiturs like, This rock. I've decided. To name it Sylvester' and 'It's hard to tweet. And juggle.' If the Palm Pre ads had half this much wit, I'd take more notice of them...

Billy Mays

When I heard the news about ubiquitous TV pitchman Billy Mays passing away yesterday, I had two immediate thoughts:

1) I tend to get most of my news from Twitter these days
2) How sad it is that some hipster wannabe named Vince - he of the ShamWow and Slap Chop - is set to inherit Mays's throne.

A boisterous, garrulous personality, I nevertheless liked Billy Mays. He reminded me a lot of Al Borland character from Home Improvement. He an everyman who had credibility because he was very much like me or you, and he had a great enthusiasm for what he did. More important, he came across as genuine. You got the feel he really believed in the products, even if he was paid to hawk them.

When I see Vince pushing the Slap Chop, I don't get that warm vibe off him. It could be because of his arrest a few months ago related to an incident with a prostitute (no charges were filed). But I suspect it's more to do with the fact that he just doesn't strike me as a person I can trust. Mays, on the other hand, is someone I might have asked for advice at the local hardware store, and I'd have gladly accepted his recommendation of a good leaf blower or outboard motor. Vince, I wouldn't even ask for directions out of his neighborhood.

So long, Mays, and thanks for helping to make the world a brighter, shinier, OxiClean place to live...

Tooting my own horn, again

Just wanted to share a little something I worked on recently with The Wright Agency in Saint John, NB - it's promotional item meant to get people to look at the community of Saint John in a whole new light. Go ahead, take your best shot!

Comfortably Dumb Comfort Wipe

"For over 100 years, we've been scrunching and folding toilet paper." So begins the low-rent ad for Comfort Wipe that has, with over 600,000 views on YouTube, become an interwebs sensation.

Well, no need to do that any more, citizen. There's now a new-fangled way to, um, see to your business and that is the vaguely erotic-looking device called Comfort Wipe. You want to believe you're watching some kind of parody. But this baby is real.

It touts itself as the first 'improvement to toilet paper as we know it since the 1880s' which is a bit disingenuous. First off, it doesn't actually improve the paper; it's just a new way to use the paper. Second, I'm pretty certain that toilet paper has improved since the 1880s with cotton softness, quilting and several ply replacing woven woodchips.

The thing is, when you watch the ad, it looks like a lot of extra work than just tearing off some paper from the roll. You take the paper, put it in the Comfort Wipe's receptacle, wipe and then you have to stand up and release the toilet paper from the device. Like shampooing, I'm guessing you have to repeat the process several times after, say, a big bowl of five-alarm chili. And I doubt you'd have much time to repeat the process safely if you do have to deal with that kind of mess.

But it's the really odd details and information that capture my fascination. The comfort wipe extends your reach a full eighteen inches for example. If you need that much reach, I'm thinking a Comfort Wipe may be the least of your concerns. Also, it's as easy to use as a shower brush, which is my yardstick for buying all products related to personal hygiene.

Yet the strangest moment comes courtesy of a rather large fellow who claims, "Being a big guy fellow certainly has its share of advantages. And its disadvantages." Don't expect him to tell you what they are either way. Apparently even he doesn't know, suggesting self-awareness is not one of the advantages. Just understand that 'being a big guy' with said advantages and disadvantages, the Comfort Wipe is a great product. No need to say more, big guy, I'm convinced.

One ironic moment comes when a 'with-it' mature woman with an accent vaguely like Estelle Harris - George's Mom on Seinfeld, tells us how Comfort Wipe allows you to maintain your dignity and your personal hygiene. The same dignity she sucker punched when she decided to appear in this ad. The other when another lady informs us that toilet paper is archaic and unsanitary. So, if Comfort Wipe is such an evolution, why does it need toilet paper anyway?

Ah, silly consumer. Why ask such questions? It's simple. The sanitary Comfort Wipe means you don't have to touch dirty toilet paper anymore. Which frees you to attend to other business while you do your, um, business. You can call your friends. Start a grocery list. Prepare a lovely sandwich. You decide. Except you do need to use your hand to operate it. Some advancement in 'toilet paper'.

Jerk Chicken

Asshattery. It's an affliction particularly common in advertising today, particularly men. It comes in many forms. There's the clueless enthusiastic asshattery of the guys in the Verizon ads who want to know just how many friends they can have in their circle, or something like that. There's the insensitive asshattery of the guy in the Bank of Montreal/Air Miles ad who determines that he and his 'wife' can take a dream vacation to Paris in their senior years, then plucks a gray hair from her head to tell her they are practically on their way.

But the asshattery in a new (Canada-only?) KFC ad for its Fully Loaded meal, which I'd link to if I could find it on YouTube, is in a class of its own. A twenty-something guy who has obviously managed to avoid learning any social skills, orders his meal and proceeds, like a five-year old, to back into patrons like a truck while making 'beep' noises. After jostling someone's grandpa and someone's beatnik aunt, he moves on. Cue laughs.

So, KFC is encouraging the young guys they are targeting to come into their restaurants, stuff their maws with a large carton overflowing with artery-clogging herbs and spices and make an ass of themselves as they embarrass and potentially injure other patrons? Behavior that would get them kicked out of any KFC? Or is it that KFC just sees this demographic as jerks? Jerks with money, but still jerks.

No, the ad suggests they don't think much of anyone in any demographic. It's lame, lazy and misanthropic creative, the kind that thinks boorish behavior equals humor. So come on in, millennial. Your Fully Loaded meal entitles you to make a total ass of yourself. Sad thing is, many people don't need much encouragement or a license...

Air New Zealand - Nothing to Hide

Cheeky Air New Zealand promo. Those uniforms are so tight, you might say they're painted on. Here's the skinny

Best Ad going right now

This Post Shredded Wheat ad is condensed from a longer bit that appeared before on the web, but it's still very brilliant. Crisp, clear, funny and relevant both to the times and the tastes, if you will, of consumers. Have a look and see for yourself why Post is putting the No in innovation. Thanks to Adland for making it available, and kudos to Ogilvy and Mather for such savvy execution. Here it is.

GM sees the light

It’s a new day, and GM has seen the light. How so? Watch its new ad, released online in the wake of its bankruptcy filing, archived at Advertising Age.

See the sun? See how it drapes those glass edifices in its warm amber light? That’s how you know it’s a new day for the car manufacturer. Any more sunlight in those first fifteen seconds and the ad would be solar powered.

There are a lot of pledges that the company is stronger, faster, better. Enough that those of you my age and older might be reminded of the intro for the Six Million Dollar Man. Much like that fictional character, GM is rebuilding itself and has the technology to make it happen. Although the script takes great pains to emphasize that message, the details - the proof in the proverbial pudding - are lacking.

Certainly, the imagery is fairly standard, and somewhat trite. Most of the content serves to remind us of what GM has done in the past. Obviously, the company has a long legacy, and one it can’t - nor shouldn’t - ignore. Yet, if you are stressing the fact that it is a brand-new day for your company, you should probably rein in the nostalgia a bit more.

In between those images of GM vehicles carefully selected to boost confidence the company will survive - see how that truck stands up to that hefty payload - we get images of athletes. Again, nothing particularly new here. Athletes signify speed, performance, endurance, overcoming odds - all of which GM wants us to associate with its brand. Still, I couldn’t help notice the image of the hockey player face down on the ice as the voiceover artist talked about shortcomings in cost competitiveness. It was an ironic choice, given that hockey is something Detroit does well. Just look at the Stanley Cup finals this year, at least so far.

At the end, the voiceover artist says GM is focused on chapter one, a sly reference to Chapter 11. It’s meant to convey the company is starting over, but the images and script just don’t have that new car smell.