Maria in the Mainframe - Pt. 4

(And now, the conclusion of my story for/about my niece...)

Meanwhile, Zentz was happy,
Why wouldn’t he be?
Gorging himself
On the computer’s memory
As poor, trapped Maria
Began to fret
“How did I get myself
Caught in this ‘net?”
Yes, Maria was trapped
And didn’t know what to do
When Dr. Cyrus and Bing
Came to her rescue
Cyrus caught the bug
Who began to protest
“We were just having fun
I didn’t mean to distress
This pretty girl
With the cute button nose
Mop of brown hair
And ten perfect toes!”
But Dr. Cyrus knew better
He’d have none of that
He sprayed Zentz with his potion
And squashed the bug flat
So Zentz scuttled off
On a haphazard track
Muttering vengefully
That he’d be back

And then Dr. Cyrus
Released our heroine
From the terrible tangle
She had been trapped in
“Thank you kind sir,”
Said Maria, relieved
“That nasty bug certainly
Had me deceived”
“Think nothing of it”
Cyrus exclaimed
“My name is Cyrus
Tell me, what is your name?”

“My name is Maria
And I must say
That I’ve had quite enough
Excitement for one day
I thought that this
Was a wonderful place
But I guess I was wrong
What an awful disgrace!”
“You’re weren’t wrong,” said Cyrus
“Computers can be quite grand
But things here, quite often
Can get out of hand
Computers are marvelous
The Internet too
They have much to offer
A young girl like you
Yes it is good to be curious
And good to explore
It’s good to be friendly
Of this I am sure
But you must be careful
Whatever you do
And be grateful you’ve family
To watch out for you!”

And that was all
Cyrus had to say
He shook Maria’s hand
And sent her off on her way
So Maria, with Bing,
Went back to the CPU
Who said to her, “You’re ready to
Go home now, aren’t you?
Well, I’m happy to send you
Off on your way
You’ve certainly had enough
Excitement today
But I hope you will come back
And see us again”
And with a flash
Maria was back in the den

And just as Maria
Landed in the chair
Her grandparents came into
The room and found her there
“We have been wondering
Where in the world
You could have gone,
Our special girl
We looked in the laundry room
The bathroom and kitchen
We’ve been looking and looking
And thought you’d gone missin’!”

Well, little Maria
She tried to explain
But an incredulous look
On their faces remained
“Zapped into the computer?
Maria Suzanne!
You’re just too big
For the computer to scan
Now that is a fib
Of an impressive scale
What imagination
What a fanciful tale!”
Maria was frowning
“It’s not so absurd,
Bing was there, he’ll tell you”
But Bing said not a word
“You must have been dreaming”
Her Grampy laughed
“To come up with a story
As vivid as that
It’s quite a story though
Quite a sensation
Yes, Maria you have
Quite an imagination!”

And Maria would have kept frowning
Like Zentz the bug
If they both hadn’t given her
A kiss and a hug
And Maria, who had frowned
At not being believed
Thought back on her adventure
And felt quite relieved
To be back among family
Felt good once again
And Maria’s grandparents
Led her out of the den
But looking back over her shoulder
At the cursor, blinking
She could have sworn
It was the CPU, winking

Well they gave her some milk
And some Christmas cookies too
And begged her: “Tell us more
Of what happened to you”
And as Maria sat munching
And feeling quite better
Her parents arrived
As promised, to get her
They hugged her and kissed her
Patted her head
Drove her home, fed her supper
And got her ready for bed

And as Maria Suzanne
Laid down to rest
She said: “The computer was nice
But l like it here best.”

The End

Maria in the Mainframe - Part 2

For those of you who read Part 1, this is part 2 of the story I wrote for/about my niece:

...Well, now who would believe it?
Certainly not me!
It seems impossible
How could it be?
That a computer could talk
And that a scanner could scan
Something as big
As Maria Suzanne
But there she was
Inside grampy’s computer
And just as before
The voice, it spoke to her

“You’re probably wondering
Where you are, aren’t you?
Well you’re safe and sound
In the CPU
Now, please don’t you worry
There’s no need to fear
You made a wish
And I brought you here
Now you can go anywhere
That you want to go
But before you get going
I want you to know
If you want to go somewhere
And want to go quick
Just take this mouse
First you point, then you click
That’s all it takes
There is nothing to it
But there’s one thing you should know
Before you go do it
Wherever you go
And what ever you do
If any trouble
Should ever befall you
Or if you get weary
And don’t want to roam
Just click on Escape
And you’ll soon return home”

“Home?” said Maria
“Thanks but no thanks
I think I’d rather wander
Your memory banks”
She randomly pointed
And lickety-split
She fell deep into the computer
With just one click
There was a flash of light
The computer made the connection
And Maria found herself hurtling
In an unknown direction
And when finally she thought
That she just might take ill
She found herself standing
Perfectly still

But where was Maria?
You’re wanting to know
Well, it was the strangest place
You ever could go
Just try to imagine
I bet you can’t do it
A place so far off the map
You couldn’t go to it
A place that is virtually
Out of this world
And that’s where you’d find
This brave little girl

It was a kind of city
More or less, less or more
But no city had ever looked
Like this city before
All the buildings were made out
Of circuits and wires
There were vehicles speeding
Along without tires!
Everything and everyone
Was in constant motion
Ebbing and flowing
Just like an ocean
The sky was an odd shade
Of bright neon green
It was all unlike anything
Maria had seen
Every shape, every form was
An optical illusion
That would send you or I
Reeling with confusion
There weren’t streets to speak of
Nor gutters or grates
Nor cross walks to cross
Just networks to navigate
Well, I have described it
As best as I can
This strange little city
In this strange little land

And Maria? She was speechless
Wide-eyed and slack-jawed
She could not believe
What she heard, what she saw
And just then a big smile
Came over her face
“This,” said Maria
“Is a wonderful place!”

But just when she thought
She had seen everything
She noticed something was different
About her old bunny Bing
Usually Bing was quite
Quiet and quite still
Now he was hopping about
Of his own free will
“I can hop,” he exclaimed
“I can leap, I can walk
I can dance, I can sing
I can shout, I can talk
This place,” said Bing
“Must be unique
For an old rag-doll like me
To be able to speak”
So Bing hopped and leapt
And he bounced around
Until the thrill wore off
And he settled down

And when Bing wasn’t so filled
With such exhilaration
He began to take stock
Of this strange situation
“How could this happen?
How could it be true?
That we’re here in the computer
Just me and you?
It just isn’t possible
It just cannot be
It’s wonderful, marvelous
But something troubles me
Yes, I agree
It’s a wondrous place
But what do we know
Of this cyberspace?
I can’t say for certain
But I have heard tell
That this is a place
Where viruses dwell
I’ve heard there are bugs
Not to mention other dangers
And everyone we meet
Is, virtually, a stranger
So as wonderful and magical
As this may appear
We must be careful, Maria
While we are here
I mean, everything’s lovely
All abuzz and a-glowing
But we don’t know whether
We’re coming or going
So let us be careful
As we make our way through
You look out for me
And I’ll look out for you”

“Don’t be ridiculous”
Maria replied
“I see no reason
I should be petrified
I’m going exploring
There’s so much to see
You can stay here
Or come with me”
And off to explore
Went Maria, unaware
That a steely-eyed figure
Was watching her there

“Look at her,” said the figure
“How could it be?
That anyone could have reason
To be so happy?
This is intolerable
And I won’t stand for it
This sickening behaviour
You just can’t ignore it
It’s not quite the sort of thing
You’d just sweep under the rug
So I’ll take care of her or my name’s
Not Zentz the Bug...”

Maria in the Mainframe - Part 1

A brief note of explanation. In 2000, during a very rough time in my life - no work and the near break up of a long relationship, I started writing a story about my niece. Though only two years old, she frequently played with old computers my dad had lying around. From that, a story took root and I fleshed it out a bit, off and on, that summer. Fractured Fairy Tales + Dr. Seuss were employed as additional influences.

Five years later, and I dusted off that relatively incomplete story to finish it. It became a homemade XMas as I baked - yes, baked - Snickerdoodles for my sis (Dad's mom always made them for the holidays), and I gave my mom a CD I'd made of seasonal faves she could play through winter. (80 minutes of Sleigh Bells, Winter Wonderland, I Love the Winter Weather, etc.)

And this? I polished and polished until my polisher was sore. And then, I drew some very crude drawings for it. I printed it + also put it on a disc for her. I even sent copies to my clients. It was my fave XMas.

It's a long story. The rhymes are forced in places, etc. But it was one of the only poems I wrote during a very, very long hiatus from poems. Here is the first part of the story. NB: it is written in Canadian English, so you may need an interpreter...

Once upon a time
As all good stories go
On the outskirts of town
In a small bungalow
Just off the highway
Where a slim river ran
There lived a young girl
Named Maria Suzanne
She had a round face
With a cute button nose
A mop of brown hair
And ten perfect toes

Now Maria liked many things
As little girls do
Playing outdoors and reading
And colouring too
She liked riding her bike
With the pretty pink trim
And when it was warm
Maria went for a swim
She liked swinging on swings
And she liked to pretend
But most of all she liked visiting
Her grandparents each weekend

One Saturday near Christmas
Much like the rest
Clutching her stuffed bunny Bing
To her chest
All pink-cheeked and pretty
Maria Suzanne
Drove with her parents
In the family van
To Grammy and Grampy’s
At quarter past eight
They left her there, promising
They wouldn’t be late

Well, Maria was happy
Who wouldn’t be?
Spending the day with their
Grammy and Grampy
But today was different
Maria could see
That Grammy and Grampy
Were both very busy
Grammy was baking
And had cards to write
While Grampy fixed a computer
That wouldn’t work right

So Grampy was busy
And Grammy was too
And poor little Maria
Had nothing to do
So what did she do?
Well, right about then
She crept off unnoticed
Toward grampy’s den

“Everyone is too busy
Too busy to play
Maybe they want me
To just go away
Well I will,” said Maria
“I have no fear
I’d rather be anywhere
Anywhere but here!”
So into the den
Maria quietly crept
And over to the desk
Where Grammy’s cat slept
There was grampy’s computer
A wondrous thing
She pulled up a chair
And sat down with Bing

And as she sat there
By the computer, thinking
Maria noticed that
The cursor was blinking
Well Maria had often
Watched Grampy at work
As he built computers
And ironed out quirks
And it had occurred
To this little girl
That computers had modems
That link to the world
She’d seen Grampy do it
A time or two
And if he could do it
Well, Maria could too

But how to do it
Well, that was a task
And everyone was far
Too busy to ask
So Maria just typed
And the words that appeared?
‘I wish I were anywhere,
Anywhere but here’

Then she hit enter
And a voice it replied
“I’ll take you anywhere
Once you’re inside”
“Who said that?” Cried Maria
As she leapt from the chair
She looked round the room
But no one was there
“I said, ‘who said that?’”
She looked where she’d been
And saw a face had appeared
On the computer screen
“Come closer Maria,”
The voice called her by name
She did and the scanner
Scanned her into the mainframe...