Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Verse: Rehearsals for retirement

(the title is stolen from Phil Ochs.)

it's time
for change

time to find
the way

time to let go
of the ten thousand things

that i
cling to

how will i
know the world

if i am
not in it

i am
an empty vessel

every day
filled to the brim

until i
spill over

and start
again

until
the cracks appear

what is there
that we cannot break

physically
metaphorically

hearts
tissue and bone

everything
breaks eventually

even you
and me

and you
know me better

than I know
myself

none of this
is new

i'm just
reprising

every day
writing

a rehearsal
for retirement

and every time
wanting it

to be perfect
it could be the last one

that's the thing
who knows

but this
you should know

if i never
say goodbye

i've left so much
behind for you

there's evidence
everywhere

to discover me
anew

and if
by chance

we do not
have occasion

to say
goodbye

i'm glad i met you
on the way.

2 comments:

  1. I had to read this aloud to try and find the rhythm. The enjambment feels like a wave that never hits the peak fully, so just when you're expecting the top, you're plunged straight down, early, into the coldest of waters.
    The last few stanzas seem to lack something and made me frustrated - I found myself wanting either a more constructive/positive or destructive conclusion.

    A very interesting and accomplished poem, and I agree dark, but the optimistic typewriter in me is nonetheless looking for golden threads to tie together. Fool's errand, perhaps??

    Thanks,

    RTypewriter

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  2. This may not sound like the highest compliment, but I mean it sincerely.

    I'd love to set this verse to music, something sexy but in minor key to give it a kinda spooky feel.

    Again, I'm neither a poet nor a poetry critic. I just know what I like...and I like this piece.

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